Have some fun with Google StreetView

Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Student: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

Teacher: Ann, go to the map and find North America.
Ann: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
Class: Ann!

Teacher: Ann, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have twenty years ago.
Ann: Me!

Our English Teacher: Mike, give me a sentence starting with "I".
Mike: I is...
Teacher: No, Mike. Always say, "I am."
Mike: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
(a voice from the back of the class): "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Class: A teacher.

Teacher: Now, Sim, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sim: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

 

ENGLISH TEST

Somones (*cough* ahem ahem T-a-s-h *cough) finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how he did his exam. For that he replied - Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ... and at last I wrote THUNK !!!-

Q: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"

Ann: "No, who wrote it?"

Nadia: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father: I think so! What do you want me to write?
Nadia: Your name on this report card.

One day Zubi came to the college with two red ears. The teacher asked him what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the mobile rang - but instead of picking up my mobile I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the teacher exclaimed in disbelief. "But....what happened to your other ear?" "He called back."!!!!!

COMPUTER STUDENTS

One day, I went to the Computer lab to check my mails. I saw that the students were moving their machines to another room (as they were being instructed by their teacher). Ann was having a tough time carrying her machine.
Sehr: "My computer has a 500 MB disk. See how easily I am carrying it. Yours has just 250 MB. Can't you carry even this much?"
Ann: "But yours is empty and my disk is full"!!!

Chem. Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water?
Sonia: "HIJKLMNO"!!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Sonia: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

LIE DETECTOR

Few days back CDS invented the first lie detector in the world. But they wanted to test it before launching the product in public. So, Ann, Sonia and Saba are called upon to test a lie detector.Ann says: -I think I can solve twenty questions in an hour-. BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. -Ok-, she says, -10 questions-. And the machine is silent. Sonia says: -I think I can solve 15 questions-. BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. -Allright, 5 questions-. And the machine's silent. Saba says: -I think...-, BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.

Our Professor - Getting his PhD!!!

Our Professor (*cough* ya'll know who's that) was very keen on doing his Ph.D.He was in search of a subject on which no one did any research before! As he was thinking over it, he found a cockroach on the table in front of him. He decided instantly to do a research on the roach. He picked the roach and put it in the center of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran. He pulled out one leg of the roach, put it again in the center of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran. He pulled one more leg of the roach, put it again in the centre of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran. This way the roach tried to run even when it had just one leg. He pulled last leg of the roach, put it again in the center of the table and said: "Run". The roach could not! Our Professor was satisfied with his study and started writting his thesis: "When you pull out all the legs of a roach, it cannot hear anymore".

ONE LINERS!

*) Smoking helps you lose weight ... one lung at a time!

*) Sign on a famous beauty parlour window: Don't whistle at the girl
going out from here. She may be your Grandmother!!

*) Sign in a bar : "Those .....drinking to forget........ please pay in
advance."

*) Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.

*) A Spouse is someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you
wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.

*) When I read about the evils of drinking ...I gave
up.............reading.

*) My Grandfather is eighty and still doesn't need glasses... He drinks
straight out of the bottle.

*) Laugh and the world laughs with you, Snore and you sleep alone.

*) The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe
is the fact that it has never tried to contact us.

*) Seen on a bulletin board: Success is a relative term. More the success, more
the relatives.

*) Sign at a barber's saloon in Brooklyn, NewYork: We need your heads to run
our business.

*) A traffic slogan : Don't let your kids drive if they are not old
enough or else they will never be.

*) "A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he's finished."

13 new world oder recommendations...

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat
and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly
removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while
you chop away.

3. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself
and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in
your veins.

4. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
sleep when you hit the snooze button.

5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

6. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a
hammer, then you will forget about the tooth ache.

7. Sometimes we Just Need to Remember What The Rules
of Life Really Are...

8. You need only two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it
doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and
shouldn't, use the duct tape.

9 . The five most essential words for a healthy, vital
relationship are "I apologize" and "You are right."

10. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

11. Never pass up an opportunity to potty.

12. If You Woke up Breathing, Congratulations! You
have another chance!

13. And Finally... Be Really Good To Your Family and
Friends. You never know when you are going to need
them to empty your bedpan!